First, check out MSTI's Offseason Dodgers plan. Interesting read - can't say it's realistic or that I agree with everything, but interesting it most definitely is...
For The Record
Auctioning it off
"For the record, he hit me first."
"There is no record here, Dale. This is not a court of law. My justice system works independently. You do not have the right to remain silent, nor does anything 'for the record' matter to me. What matters is that you and Clark here created a scene. This was not just a squabble between two siblings. This is a true incident, and I'm not your parents so we're not dealing with it that way either. On the contrary, we're going to do this by the book, bringing the two halves together to assess the situation. I've heard your statements over and over again. It's time to lay down the punishments. By my honor under this great flag, in this great country, justice will be served. You are not free to just do what you like. You cannot just hit each other in my school. If you want to be a rule-breaking anarchist you can move up to Toronto. But as long as we're here at Buffalo Public High School #118 and I have the job of assistant principal, I will administer the coordination and execution of justice. I'm taking your silliness and auctioning it off. We mean business here, gentlemen. Time to act like it. You'll both get week's detention during lunch, spent in my office. And your parents will be asked to handle this mess too. This extends home. Now what do you have to say to that?"
"Yeah, but for the record, he hit me first."