12 August 2010

Updates from KC

It turns out the conference hotel is also the New York Yankees' hotel, as Yankees skipper Joe Girardi was chilling out in the lobby about an hour ago.

Kansas City surprised me. It's safe and clean, sports some really cool aesthetics, and comes off as a surprisingly modern town. Also, the bbq is brilliant. There is only one city in the world that has more fountains than Kansas City - Venice.

Today I'll be visiting the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum and Kauffman Stadium, where the aforementioned Girardi will lead the mighty Yanks into battle against the peasant militia of baseball, the Kansas City Royals.

I hear the Dodgers were the Dodgers the last few days... score 15 runs one night, get shut out the next. Naturally.


  1. Nephew, since you are out gallivanting through the great mid-west, let me surmise what was the end of the season for your Los Angeles Dodgers.

    Let us begin with what once again was another 2-sided coin effort by the centerfielder, one Matt Kemp. He drives in 2 runs in the first with a seeing-eye single. Later he homers to left with a man on. Then the inevitable happened when no. 27 failed to leave the batters box after he doinked a ball down the right field line because he apparently did not know where the ball was at (Guess the old adage of running hard to first until you hear the umpire shout foul never registered with our friend during Little League?). Instead of standing at second with a double he only manages to reach first and is unable to score when Carroll follows with a single, hence costing the team what turned out to be one more crucial run.

    To the bottom of the 8th when Torre has our recovering substance abuser open up the inning in relief of Kuo. Big-belly-sorry-o proceeds to give up 4 runs, on 4 hits, along with a wild pitch, and a balk (the old fake to 3rd look to first move...except no one was on 3rd). Belisario fails to record an out, perhaps the white lines along the baselines were too much of a distraction for the poor fella? Nonetheless, a pitching line that would make anyone fall off the wagon and into a substantial drunken stupor.

    To the 9th, and yes that means crime is a foot. The crime being Arson, the suspect, none other than Baby Huey himself. How could such a large man in stature possess so little in the way of cojones? Is he a eunuch? The Big Unit may have retired, but the Big Eunuch appears to be here to stay if Torre has his way. Anyways, Baby Huey, aka the Big Eunuch proceeds to elude the strike zone in typical fashion, and in between a Casey Blake boot, and a not so motivational Torre visit to the mound, he manages to have the only ball which reaches near the strike zone mashed by now Dodger nemesis, none other than the not so great, Carlos Ruiz.

    It should be noted that no Man-Rams were harmed during this abortion of a baseball game.

    Their you have it. They give up 8 runs in the final 2 innings and hence raise the white flag to what now is the end of a pathetic, under achieving, despicable season. Somewhere in the distance I can hear Nancy Bea playing taps on the Dodger Stadium Baldwin Organ. 22... Make it 23 years and counting Nephew.